Never Give Up
Kyle Kempt and Tom Hager
In Partnership with Athletes For God
By the time I ever got to throw a pass in college, I had already come to terms with the fact that I might not ever play in a football game again.
It was a thought that would have never crossed my mind coming out of high school, but five years of not stepping into a live game will do that to you.
When I took the field on October 7 of 2017, I had only thrown two live passes since my senior year of high school. But I wasn't just entering any typical game. I was going to begin my college career by facing Baker Mayfield and the undefeated Oklahoma Sooners.
Needless to say, people didn't give me or my Iowa State teammates much of a chance, listing us as 31-point underdogs.
But if people knew how much I had gone through to get there, perhaps they might have reconsidered.
Looking back now, it's amazing how close I was to never playing in that game. How close I was to giving up on the sport. To giving up on myself. To giving up on my dreams. But God has never given up on any of us, so why should I start the idea of quitting with my own career?
Now that I've passed the test, though, I can tell you that I seriously considered turning my back on the game. On multiple occasions. At multiple schools. Before I could throw my first pass as an Iowa State Cyclone, God had to make me earn it first.
My first college stop, at Oregon State, lasted all of three practices. In reality I was there for over two years, but in practical terms, my career at OSU was three days.
I got there in 2013 and sat out the season as a redshirt. The next year, with a full season of learning the playbook under my belt, it seemed like I had at least an opportunity to compete for playing time. I did not. I was not even close to being a backup, much less starting.
We had seven quarterbacks on the depth chart, but really only six of us were actually quarterbacks, and there I sat at No. 6. The backup to the fifth-string quarterback. Even though my name was technically on the roster, I actually played with the scout team.
I developed a friendship with Marcus McMaryion, who was battling for the starting spot, but the situation was unhealthy for just about all of us. I look back and I'm a much better teammate now than I was then, but all six of us developed a bizarre kinship in Corvallis, if for no other reason than we all recognized we were in a messed up situation.
That fall was brutal, as we went 2-7 in the Pac-12, and by the next spring things would change dramatically. Our head coach would take the job at Nebraska, and soon after the new coaching staff arrived, reality began to sink in. Three practices into that spring, they told me that I wasn't going to play there. As in, I was never going to play there.
They couldn't take away my scholarship, but the message was loud and clear: if I was ever going to play football again, I wasn't going to be wearing an orange and black uniform. So in March of 2015 I decided to transfer, but I didn't head to another Pac-12 school, or even another Division I program.
I was heading to Junior College.
Believe it or not, I couldn't find any playing time there either. I was playing football in the middle of nowhere in Kansas, but I was no closer to realizing my dream. It was now the fall of 2015, and despite demoting myself to the Juco level I found myself on the practice squad yet again.
It was at that time I began to seriously consider abandoning my football dreams. The thing is, God has a plan for your life way beyond what you could have ever dreamed.
In order to get there, however, you often have to survive the toughest test of your life.
When I arrived at Hutchinson College in the summer of 2015, I'll never forget what I saw when I worked out with the team for the first time. Some of my teammates were legitimate Division I players, who were either awaiting their chance at the D1 level or hoping to earn a second chance after academic issues. For other teammates, and this is no knock on them, they honestly did not look like they should be playing football.
Within a few months, I was beginning to think the same thing about myself.
I definitely had the size at 6-5, but when you are on the practice squad at the junior college level, it makes you question what you are doing with your career.
It wasn't supposed to be that way. I didn't realize when I transferred to Hutchinson that I was going to be stuck at the bottom of the depth chart. I don't like to make excuses – I had a chance to earn the starting position – but for one reason or another I didn't play.
After that 2015 season I decided to transfer again, and by this point my college career was beginning to look like my childhood. I lived in five different states growing up, and I changed elementary schools, middle schools, and high schools. Now I was getting ready to attend my third different college in three years.
I want to mention that my struggles are relative. I've had teammates who have dealt with real issues, and if this is the hardest thing I've gone through, than I've had a pretty blessed life. But for someone who loves the game of football as much as I do, I can tell you that my collegiate journey wasn't easy on me.
The funny thing is, even though I wanted to transfer, there was no film of me. That's right – I had been in college at that point for three years, and my latest game film was of me scrambling from 17-year-old linebackers.
I considered transferring to Iowa State, but before I made a decision I needed to pray on it. There were multiple times where I talked to God – is this really the right thing? I stayed unwavering on my commitment to football, and I think God had a big part in that. I don't know why I love football so much, but I'm glad he gave me that desire, because had it been some other goal, I might have quit long before I got to Ames.
But even after I made the choice to come here, that devotion was tested one final time.
My career at Iowa State started just like my other two stops: on the practice squad. The only difference this time around was that I wasn't even on scholarship, and in the spring of 2016 it was actually my parents who had encouraged me to transfer. They were paying for my tuition at an out-of-state cost, and in total fairness to them I hadn't given them much of a reason to think my time on the practice squad was going to turn into a scholarship.
This time, however, I was staying. I wanted to see this through.
My parents believed in my dream, and without knowing what the next season held in store they decided to support me. They are also Christian and raised me in a religious household, so perhaps even if they didn't know if I would ever play, they believed God had a plan for me.
That fall I played on the practice squad for the fourth consecutive year, but in the 2017 season, my dreams came true. I made the team as the backup quarterback.
As for the dream of ever seeing the field, that one looked like it wasn't coming true. Man was I ever wrong.
As August turned to September last year and we embarked on the season, I was quite comfortable being the backup. I desperately wanted to play, but I had been humbled to the point that I was happy with just being a part of a team. I was going to help the team in any way I could, and for the first four games, that meant supporting my teammates as the second-string quarterback.
I am fortunate that God waited all those years to make me an actual backup, because I had to evolve a lot as a teammate and a person to properly play that role. Someone asked me if I have ever struggled to cheer for a teammate who was ahead of me on the depth chart, as opposed to hoping they fail, and I'll tell you the honest truth...almost anybody who has put on football pads has had to face those demons.
But by this point, as a 22-year-old man, I was hungry for my teammates to succeed. And through the first four games, we kind of did. We were 2-2 heading into the Oklahoma game when it became apparent our starting quarterback wasn't going to be a part of the program the rest of that season.
From the outside it must have looked like terrible timing. We were getting ready to face the No. 3 team in the country, on the road, against the future Heisman Award winner, and now we had to switch quarterbacks.
But it was my time to shine.
I remember thinking it was kind of fitting that I started my career against Baker Mayfield, a guy who also bet on himself as a walk-on and proved his critics wrong. By that point, however, he was so good that I thought all the pressure was on him and his team, and that we had absolutely nothing to lose.
Even when we were down 14-0, I still recall standing there on the sideline, staying focused. I don't really care if we get blown out by 40 points, I told myself, I'm still going to play the best I possibly can. After waiting five years for this moment, I wasn't just going to quit now.
I couldn't hear anything from the crowd, but I sensed the energy in our team. I think we all did. We didn't say anything but we all knew it. Something was happening.
We eventually drove down and kicked a field goal to get within 24-16, and after Oklahoma fumbled the ensuing possession, we knew this was our chance. We started the drive from our own 6-yard line, but went all the way down and scored. After we converted the two-point conversion, all of a sudden the game was tied.
We actually went ahead 31-24 on another touchdown, only to see Oklahoma respond with a touchdown of their own. But by this point, late in the fourth quarter, our offense was rolling. We had scored on all but two drives that whole game, and this would be no different. With the country now taking notice of what was happening in our game, we drove down again to the Oklahoma 25-yard line with just over two minutes to play.
That's when I found Allen Lazard.
It was a 3rd-and-7, but with us facing a 42 yard field goal if I didn't complete the pass, this was a huge play. Allen broke down the left sideline, but was absolutely smothered. Here's the thing though: his defender never looked back at me. I lofted the ball into the tight coverage, just over the cornerback's helmet, and sure enough Allen came down with it. We were in front 38-31.
And when our defense stopped Baker on a fourth down moments later, we had just shocked the entire nation.
We had gone on the road to Norman and beat the No. 3 team in the country, and I made sure to pray about it and thank God. It's a moment I can't put into words. Just being part of a team, celebrating with fans who had waited eight years to even see our team achieve a winning record, that's what made the whole journey worthwhile.
The only problem was that since it was on the road, our fans couldn't storm the field. They would get that shot three weeks later against TCU.
Our stadium was packed to see the 4th ranked Horned Frogs, who were 7-0, and even though I didn't have my best game, our defense was unbelievable. They made TCU quarterback Kenny Hill uncomfortable all day. They intercepted him early in the game in the end zone, and then with our team clinging to a 14-7 lead with a minute to go, my teammate Marcel Spears Jr. reached up and clinched the win with another pick. I then got to go back out on the field and kneel down as 56,000 people went crazy. Moments later, the fans were pouring out onto the field to celebrate with us.
It was incredible to see just what God can do in your life when you persevere. We had believed in our locker room the whole year that we were capable of turning the program around, we just needed to find the moment to flip the script. By the time we were celebrating with all those students and fans at Jack Trice Stadium, I knew we had accomplished our mission.
This past offseason gave me more blessings. The NCAA granted me a sixth year of eligibility, something I had no expectations of getting at all. It keeps me on scholarship as I finish my degree in computer science. When I started my academic career, a lot of people told me it I wouldn't be able to do football and computer science at the same time, but when I walk across that stage in a few months, I'll have something that I can call mine the rest of my life. Nobody will ever be able to take that away from me.
But most importantly, the sixth year of eligibility gave me a chance to find some stability. I've struggled for most of my life to find a place to call home, and even though I considered Massillon, Ohio to be my home, my parents don't even live there anymore. During the last two years in Ames, I developed friendships with teammates that I didn't want to leave. Now that I get to stay here one more year, I have the chance to make those relationships even deeper.
The coolest part about telling my story is that I hope it will inspire some of you guys. I've never been great at studying scripture, but I can tell you that when I go to church, I always find something in the stories that I can relate to. And if my testimony can help you guys persevere too, then this journey was all worth it.